By Moses Bulamu
Many times the goings on of life, the push and shove, the hustle and bustle require that a man spends quality time ‘ in the head’- that he is preoccupied at mental and emotional level with ideas of execution, ideas of rebuilding, ideas of gelling, ideas of survival, among other things.
The man,will ‘invite’ two guest in the head. One proposing and the other opposing. Each guest with their own way of approach to life and ideas The man will gnaw at these ideas,he will throw his hands around ,talk to self and sometimes jeer . If he is a lucky man,he will break out into a roaring laugh.
Unfortunately sometimes the Same man invites more than two guests in his head. The guests usually don’t play to the conversation that requires a win-win situation. The guests could complain and require more than the glass of juice served.
All that chaos is going on in a man’s head. He has to pay school fees for his and other children,he must attend to the water bill,he must figure out how to send some money to the village,and if he is ‘quietly’ polygamous,he must find away to service his relationships.
What then happens to the head? The head boils. It fumes and let’s off vapor,which turns into rage which is showcased by a colorful language and an overboard behavior!
That, because the man accommodated more than enough at head level. In our early years of marriage my wife realized that beyond the primary colors,her lovely man couldn’t comprehend other colors in the world. The discovery brought her alot of joy and a bunter moment. She would gladly say, ” my mwami is color blind”. That phrase never earned her a rebuke or a dirty look from me. It was her haha moment.
My wife lent the color blind joke to our teenagers .The whole family teases me and even offer to watch TV with me,just in case I miss the colors. My daughter often goes through my shirts and every time triumphantly declares, ” Daddy you need some colored shirts”. It is a family joke- and it goes on and on. I have allowed the children to giggle about it as it brings them alot of joy. As a man,it is okay to be the butt of laughter in the family.
Recently as,I sat down with a bossom friend,who I, intentionally allowed to School me. And he did. Emphatically he said, ” Moses,you need to be blind enough inorder to use all your other senses” Phew! Our conversation was wide and deep on the subject of blindness. The subject of igniting other senses inorder to be a better man.
You and I must cultivate the discipline of blindness. Blind to certain things that will ruffle your mental health. Just get blind. Allow your ears,your nose,your hands, and intiuation to lead. When those ” in the head” moments come- because they will do, blindness will be your anchor.
Deliberately turn the light off,so you can use the other senses to enrich your mental health.
It’s Men’s Mental Health Month. Let it Count.
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